Dr. Porkenheimer’s Boner Juice

I’m happy to report that I still visit camp Morningwood every morning (although most of them are wasted). I hear a lot (more than I can stomach) about low testosterone and/or lack of boners, it seems that every other commercial is about that or whatever new pharmaceutical with a ridiculous name (WTF is a Harvoni?) guarantees you a better life if you don’t mind oily discharge, bloody stools and psychotic nightmares. As a 46 year old guy I’m probably facing a lack of Testosterone production, so I’ve thought about what I probably need to start doing about it. From what I’ve read common natural ways to increase or maintain are…

1. Lose Weight (only if I’m cutting for a tournament)
2. High-Intensity Exercise (jiu Jitsu, sure, but I ain’t doing no fucking crossfit)
3. Consume Plenty of Zinc (sure, ok)
4. Strength Training (yea, i can do that)
5. Optimize Your Vitamin D Levels (sure, ok)
6. Reduce Stress (get fucking real)
7. Limit or Eliminate Sugar from Your Diet (no)
8. Eat Healthy Fats (sure)